I know that you're not expecting this coming from me. Someone who is standoffish and rarely ever expresses their feelings. But, I felt it in my heart to write this to you. The moment that I was born, you weren't really interested in having a little sister. In fact, you asked mom if there was any way that I could be returned to the hospital. You also made sure to ask her, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO OUR LIVES?!" I honestly don't think it was because I cried too much or that you didn't love me, I more so think that it was hard for you to face the fact that all of the attention wasn't on you anymore. You've always been spoiled. As I sit back and think about our childhood, I start to remember that we are 8 years a part. It isn't easy having a sibling with that much of an age gap. I wanted to be with you all the time and you wanted to do your own thing. Sometimes it was seemingly impossible to find common ground. We argued over small things, and fought over smaller things. No matter where we were, you always found a way to leave me out. Even though you pretended to be too "cool" for me, you still had a soft spot for me. You would wake up extra early to do my hair for school, you kept Santa a secret, and even watched my Disney Christmas DVD with me every year on Christmas Eve night. There was no denying that you secretly loved me even if you didn't want to admit it at the time. Although you did many things with me when you didn't necessarily have to, the one thing you were not very fond of was letting me go anywhere with you after you got your license. I can remember being so upset when you would leave without me. All I would ever hear is "you'll be old enough to do that one day." Then, I got old enough and smart enough to get on Mom's good side so that she would make you take
me or you wouldn't be allowed to go at all.
Our childhood memories are truly unforgettable. Eventually as I got older, the age gap started to fade. We endured a few rough times together based on some of the things that we were faced with. I knew I always had you though. Unfortunately for me, I had to be the sibling that took a different route. The sister that made a few too many mistakes that I refuse to relive. The sister that at one point you weren't too proud to claim. Out of all the mistakes that I made, you accepted me. You never used anything against me or threw any of it in my face. Instead, you tried to lead me and guide me to a better path. Thankfully, you've always had a way of getting things through my head to make me understand where I'm going wrong. For all of that, I am so grateful. We are truly night and day. Complete total opposites. Sometimes it is almost painful to see how you react to situations versus how I react to situations. I hope you know that I have you FOREVER! There are very few people that I would risk it all for, and you are one of them. You are my twin, my rock, my best friend, and my support system. You look just like Mom, but you're super dramatic like Dad. I truly appreciate you in every way, Amber. I could never thank you enough for accepting me despite our major differences. Thank you for always hooking me up with shoes, clothes, phone cases, and make up. Also, for understanding that sometimes I am just too cheap to buy any of those things. My favorite thing about you is that you will believe anything that I say. You're so extremely gullible. Amber, you are beautiful, intelligent, fearless, precious, annoying, frustrating, passionate, and incredible. You are a living Angel, a sneaky Scorpio, but most of all you are my SISTER! I know that you're going through some major tests of faith right now, but NEVER give up! I pray for you every single day and God listens to every word I say. Everything is in His hands, so you will never come up empty handed. I love you with everything that I have in me. I can't wait to hear your sweet voice tell me that you're pregnant! Please always remember that I'm your biggest fan and that even though we are physically separated, our bond will never be.